Fatigued

Apparently, as we age our mind keeps track of which muscles we use, and don't use. After we reach about 40 years old, those muscles that we don't really use anymore will loose mass and strength and over time this leads to severe mobility problems as we reach our elder years. In other words, staying active and getting enough exercise becomes even more important as we age into our 40's, 50's and well beyond.

I have been fortunate to have led a very active life. My father was a very active man and loved to take the family camping or hiking or canoeing or skiing or golfing and loved the mountains just as much as the beaches of Northern California. From his amazing live by example, I have remained an athlete and outdoorsman to this very day. Yet my meds are making it really difficult to get on with what I want to get on with. My oncologists explains that I'm right at that point - 9 infusions - where the worst of the fatigue will happen. The good news from all of of this is that my fatigue is not expected to worsen, only remain steady throughout my therapy. Great. Wonderful. F*ck.

The worst of it goes like this - I get a good nights sleep and wake early and energized. I go downstairs and get my yogurt and fruit and flaxseed meal and juice and vitamins, and watch the news while I eat the same breakfast I've been eating for more years than I can remember. When I'm done, I go back into the kitchen and begin my coffee making rituals (I'm kind of partial to Temple Coffee in Sacramento these days). By this time I'm sick of the news and switch over to "How it's Made" or something on the Golf Channel while I enjoy my coffee and a few delicious madeleines. Then it's back into the kitchen to clean up a bit and suddenly, I'm as tired as I was when I put my head on my pillow just 9 hours ago. Great. Wonderful. F*ck.

Some days are better. Some days are bad. The bad days are where I just feel like it's not even worth trying and I just plain give up, crawl into bed - again - and just wait for another chance to try again tomorrow. Yet this past week I feel something is different. I feel a lot more energized, a lot more focused and a lot happier, too. Why?

Exercise.

Throughout this whole fucked-up ordeal I have been getting to the gym and to the golf course or into the back yard for mowing and weeding or whatever, so it wasn't like I wasn't doing anything. But just recently I think I kind of reached some sort of zenith with my workouts at the gym. I've really started to work more individual muscle groups while still getting in all of my cardio stuff, too and it has really changed my over all energy and well-being. There are 262 (major) muscles in the body and I think as I work more and more of them my system reacts by firing off more neurons in the cerebrum which then relays the message to the cerebellum and then I feel quite good and at peace with everything - instead of just feeling like a flat tire on an old rusted pickup truck.

So seriously - get the f*ck out there and get your ass moving.